Im not perfect im just in love #1

Few days ago i had an emotional shock.. the only person i loved the most in my entire 26 years i lived .. told me about the bad things he thinks i have .. its okay to me to have bad things .. god created us human beings have both rights and wrongs .. its okay to admit them too to me , and its okay to have them .. its only god who is perfect !

But the shock was that i dont have these things for real .. how could you see these things while i ve always acted the opposite?!!

It hurts the most when someone you truly love and care for .. tells you after spending good fine years together that you cannot be trusted while he / she trusts you already!! For sick reasons too

It hurts to give everything you have to someone who is the world to you .. while you are just a person to them that can be replaced.. by time as he said 

It hurts to dream of somebody’s future and success outta love ..while he/ she just think about your present ..

I love him so much though, but i get broken from time to time when i remember that hes there with me now but he might not be there tomorrow.. not because he doesnt love .. because he has plans that doesnt have me in it .. and its unchangeable ..

How can you be so sure that you will find another heart like mine but through another person ?

This cant ever happen .. because god will never give you everything you ask for when you’re not fair with people who love you ..

And he wont give you a complete picture when you break another one ..

And even though i still pray god changes our plans or change the love i have for you and help me to focus on whats left in me .. and carry on my life coping with your stupidness and selfishness..

I cant live without you though .. you are the air that i breath you are so good to me and always had been .. but you broke something that would never get repaired i guess.. unless you repaired it the hard way which wont happen i guess too

I sometimes feel like i own the world because of you and some other times i feel broken and screwed and captivated..

Is it love that drives people too far happy and too far sad?

Love is more pure than that im sure .. i believe in love and in god .. i believe god will never leave us broken and will cure our wounds ..

One day ill see your eyes as miserable as my heart whenever i remember you might leave .. but i wont be happy then because ill remember how much i loved you ..

And unfortunately that has to happend because god is always fair .. and what comes around goes back around .. but i wont like seeing you in my shoes ever and ill keep praying not to see you there too.. even you shocked me , even you hurt my feelings so many times even you broke me so many times .. i still believe in you and in the good inside you .. and in our attachment of love and good memories .. the love you gave me will always fill my heart and clean the villain or anger aches inside my heart too 

Im not perfect im just in love ..


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